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You: Letters to Him

Me: My Lessons

Us: Our Achievements

  • In a recent therapy session, I realized that my constant busyness might actually be a way of filling the void created by my loneliness. I’ve noticed a pattern in how I react when I feel frustrated or irritated with my partner, it often leads me to immerse myself even more in work or tasks. My…

  • What is the payout of being the bigger person?

    At the end of the day, I get to own how I feel about everyone and the situations I am part of. But being the bigger person? Seriously, what is the payout? Who benefits from not lashing out and cussing out the opposition? Or from getting back at the other party with some petty task…

  • Us- If a bear attacked, what would you do?

    March 11, 2025 The Camping Trip That Changed Everything It was the summer of 2007—well, 2007-ish—when we embarked on a couples’ retreat with a few friends and their spouses. As a group, we decided to go all in: camping in the Boundary Waters, complete with portaging and all. None of us had done anything like…

About Me

My Hmong name, Foua Choua, more or less means “the weather.” In addition to raising my children, most of my life revolves around my family. I am an active partner, and my life as a wife of a neurodivergent and/or autistic person is important to document. It is my hope that my children will read about my journey and find some of it relevant to their own lives. It is also true that, while my stories are similar to those of other Hmong wives, I think my experience is uniquely positioned to inform others about the skills to navigate kindness for oneself.

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